FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
