My friends, they love my intelligence
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
