My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
