Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
