She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
