Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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