So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
