Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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