we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I think my moral compass just broke
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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