I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
