You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
