I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I could have mohawked her pubes.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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