I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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