Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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