they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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