I'm eating all of the evidence.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
