you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
