That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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