Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
