I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
