if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
