The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
