I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize