I seem to have left my pride at pride
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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