So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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