god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i just google imaged poop.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Someone stole a lamp last night.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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