Screwed.edu
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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