No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
