i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
