"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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