I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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