I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize