hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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