I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
