What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
