Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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