I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
