he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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