he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
A bitchslap is in order.
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