I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
