I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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