Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Is it because I queefed?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
