Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Help. Why am I so naked?
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