Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
