just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
