I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
