All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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