Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
