someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
