i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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