New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
