P.S. I can't hear my feet
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
