oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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