I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just high enough for therapy.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize