She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
