I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
