I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
