Who did Billy Mays play for?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
