why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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