went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
how does that bad decision feel?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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